Beautiful Forgiveness

Forgiveness is difficult. Not only because it's hard to let go of the anger and bitterness, but because it's not a single event--it's a process. I thought that I could simply fogive someone for having done something to me and move on, but forgiveness is much bigger than that. I cant just say in my heart that I fogive someone, but I have to let go of all anger and give it to God. Slowly God has given me not only the words of forgiveness but a heart of forgiveness.
It's crazy that I have been fogiven and am forgiven each day from the sin, the mistakes, and the dirt in my life by a perfect God, but then I can't find it in my heart to forgive someone else. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins." God wants me to love people that hurt me and forgive people who have done me wrong, so that He may extend His love and kindness by forgiving me from the sin I've committed against Him.
So yes, I forgive. I forgive you for the deceit, the hurt, the impulsive decision to throw it all away, and the silence. I forgie you. Today, God gave me the chance to say those words in person, and I truly meant them from my heart. I see that God uses events (even painful events) to teach me and mold me into the woman I am and will become.
"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." -Cherie Carter-Scott

Trust & Wait

Trust and Wait--
These two words describe what I need to be doing. Trust that God has a purpose and unique plan for my life. Trust that His time IS perfect. Trust that God will provide. Trust that God will lead me. Trust God. God has been whispering in my ear, "Wait. Wait, my child." So although it goes against every desire and every fiber of my being, I will wait. I will wait in God's overwhelmingly sweet presence. I will wait. I will no longer determine my own steps. No longer will I be fed the lie of independence apart from Christ. I shall wait.

John Burroughs wrote this poem that is very descriptive of what it means to wait.

Waiting
By: John Burroughs
Serene, I fold my hands and wait
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea
I rave no more 'gainst time or fate
For lo! my own shall come to me.

I stay my haste, I make delays
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own and draw,
The brook that springs in yonder height,
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me