Catch Up With Ya Lata'

My formula/process for saying goodbye—

Me: “Hey, it’s about that time.”

Other person: “This is awful. I hate saying goodbyes.”

Me: Ya…me too.

Other person: “I’m going to miss you SOOO much. What am I going to do without you?!!!”

Me: “Don’t worry. You’ll be alright. But hey, I have to get going. I’m going to be late. Don’t worry though, we’ll stay in touch.”

Other person: “So soon! (shedding of tears) I…I…I…c-c-can’t….”

Me: “I understand. I’ll see ya lata.”

Saying goodbyes with friends has never been my strong point. Some love to drag out goodbyes while others uncontrollably cry their eyes out. I’m kind of the silent type. Yes, I’m going to miss them, but I don’t want to feel guilty if I happen to not shed some tears (which is most of the time). Every time I prepare myself to say goodbye to a friend I give myself an allotted time and once that time is up I figure out some type of excuse to get going.

All sarcasm aside, I think this might be the worst goodbyes with friends I’m going to experience. When saying goodbye to high school friends before leaving for college, I was quite sad. Things were about to change dramatically, but I knew deep down that I was going to see them again in 4 months for Christmas. Saying goodbye to friends here at college now, I don’t know when I’ll see them next or if ever.

Liberty and Lynchburg have really taken a piece of me and I’ll forever have a special place tucked away for it full of incredible, amazing memories. This is the place where I figured out a lot about myself. This is the place where I found a true, deep relationship with my Lord and Savior. This is where God gave me the gift of finding friends that would impact and change me and allow me to be me without any fear or hesitation.

Saying goodbye to this place makes me afraid, because I’m not sure what other place could compare and live up to all that I’ve experienced here.

Saying goodbye to my friends here causes me to realize just how much I love the people surrounding me and how much they in turn care for me.

Moving on to new adventures and stepping out into something completely different really makes me feel like I’m stepping out onto the plank and trusting God to catch me. Something new and fresh comes with a price. A price of saying goodbye.

Am I ready? To say goodbye? No. To take the next step and keep letting God lead me to mold and shape me into His plan? Absolutely!  

Beautiful Forgiveness

Forgiveness is difficult. Not only because it's hard to let go of the anger and bitterness, but because it's not a single event--it's a process. I thought that I could simply fogive someone for having done something to me and move on, but forgiveness is much bigger than that. I cant just say in my heart that I fogive someone, but I have to let go of all anger and give it to God. Slowly God has given me not only the words of forgiveness but a heart of forgiveness.
It's crazy that I have been fogiven and am forgiven each day from the sin, the mistakes, and the dirt in my life by a perfect God, but then I can't find it in my heart to forgive someone else. Mark 11:25 says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins." God wants me to love people that hurt me and forgive people who have done me wrong, so that He may extend His love and kindness by forgiving me from the sin I've committed against Him.
So yes, I forgive. I forgive you for the deceit, the hurt, the impulsive decision to throw it all away, and the silence. I forgie you. Today, God gave me the chance to say those words in person, and I truly meant them from my heart. I see that God uses events (even painful events) to teach me and mold me into the woman I am and will become.
"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." -Cherie Carter-Scott

Trust & Wait

Trust and Wait--
These two words describe what I need to be doing. Trust that God has a purpose and unique plan for my life. Trust that His time IS perfect. Trust that God will provide. Trust that God will lead me. Trust God. God has been whispering in my ear, "Wait. Wait, my child." So although it goes against every desire and every fiber of my being, I will wait. I will wait in God's overwhelmingly sweet presence. I will wait. I will no longer determine my own steps. No longer will I be fed the lie of independence apart from Christ. I shall wait.

John Burroughs wrote this poem that is very descriptive of what it means to wait.

Waiting
By: John Burroughs
Serene, I fold my hands and wait
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea
I rave no more 'gainst time or fate
For lo! my own shall come to me.

I stay my haste, I make delays
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own and draw,
The brook that springs in yonder height,
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me

Today is My One Day

One day I will write a blog

One day I will go abroad.

One day I will run a half marathon.

One day I will graduate from college.

One day I will work in D.C.

One day I will own a coffee shop.

Today, I am crossing off one of these aspirations. I’m finally starting a blog. I’ve always viewed a blog as something I should do for myself so I can write my thoughts down, but that is what a journal is for. This blog is to put my thoughts out there and if it happens to encourage, relate to, or spark something in someone than my purpose of a blog is complete.

I’m sick of making excuses. I’m no longer going to delay dreams and ambitions I have. James 4:14 says, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” This is eye opening and puts things into perspective. If my time is so brief and so uncertain, then why should I ever waste a moment? As long as I am here on this earth, I want to proclaim Christ’s name, live a pure and holy life for God, love fully and without fear, be a generous and a sincere person, seek forgiveness in my wrong doings, laugh often, and be utterly consumed with a love for Jesus.

Steven Furtick says in his blog, “Two words can disqualify every dream you’ve ever had: one day. Tomorrow always comes but the dream never happens. Stop waiting.”

So here is my one day—today. A new day full of a “one day” accomplished.